disclaimer

This is some important information, and by reading the blog and gabbing about it with your friends, printing it off to read offline, linking to it on the bookface, subscribing to it with your RSS reader, getting it in your e-mail, or consuming it via any one of any number of ways this content could be distributed and read, you are inherently acknowledging that you have read this page and agree to what is outlined here.

First: this is a blog, and as such, is inherently creative writing. As it is creative in nature, some of it may have therefore been creatively fictionalized. Therefore, if you think you recognize yourself or anybody you may know, you probably don’t, because none of the people I am talking about here actually exist in the real world — they are hyperbolic mosaics of more than one patient I have met in the years I have worked as a respiratory therapist. No patient confidentiality is ever violated, as identifying details are masked or traded with other identifying details to create a character that was never actually a patient I worked with.

Secondly, as the purpose of this blog is for creative writing, it is not intended to provide any sort of medical advice, nor should it be used to help self-diagnose some horrible disfiguring disease you should really have talked to your doctor about anyway. The author of this blog accepts no responsibility for you being a moron and not asking your family doctor about any of your medical conditions. Additionally, while it is possible for me to provide general information about diseases within my scope, I am completely unable to provide any kind of specific medical advice. So don’t ask. I’ll direct you to this page, at best, or depending on how much sputum is on my scrubs at that particular moment, I might just ban you to be mean. I’m unpredictable like that.

Third, this blog is personal creative writing, and the opinions, information, insight and hilarious anecdotes presented herein are completely sourced from the author: this blog does not in any way reflect the opinions of my employer(s), past or present. It is presented as entertainment and should be taken as such; besides, it’s been statistically proven* that taking things too seriously results in a diminished lifespan.

Rest assured this work is being conducted in accordance with all employee policy and local laws and go find trouble to make elsewhere.

Finally, if I offend you, tell your therapist. If I anger you, tell your spouse or your friends. If I make you laugh, let me know, and if I stir your heart, I want to hear about that too. But if your motive is to take a big steaming crap on the ol’ Respiratory Blog-o-desk, be aware that comments are moderated, and it’s impossible to troll when nobody can read what you say.

* brought to you by the Department of Statistics I Just Made Up

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